Day 28: Switchboard Prayer
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit
And I guess if any ancient spirits unaffiliated are nearby
If you could lend an ear as well.
Our Father, who art in Heaven
But this is not your church, God.
This is Buddha’s home
So, Buddha, do you mind if I talk to God?
Or perhaps you are a part of God?
No, you were a man of transcendence
Which means you play cards with Jesus
Great – am I being sacrilegious?
Hail Mary, full of grace…
You are so much easier to talk to than God
Woman to woman, I think you get me
Better, understand me a little more.
Don’t tell him I said that.
He already knows anyway.
Where was I?
Ah yes – so please Buddha
Since this is your house
Do whatever it is you do for good people
And do it for the good people I know.
And God, understand that I offer my prayers to you
But I’m not sure you get reception on Buddha’s mountain
The signal might be a little fuzzy
And isn’t it better to try and get along with everyone?
Forgive us our trespasses
(Like trying to pray to everyone at once.
I’m just trying to be fair here!)
As we forgive those who trespass against us
You know, I am no longer angry at that smoker who shoved me.
It’s this holy vibe I’m getting from Buddha
He’s got mojo here
Again, I’m being sacrilegious.
Again, forgive me my trespasses –
Apologies to all parties.
Buddha, forgive me for praying to my God on your mountain
God, forgive me for asking Buddha to help me out
Mary, mother of God, just put in a good word for me
Bodhisattva of Not Messing Things Up – step up your game, Dude.
Sorry, I think my informality is fear
That in asking any of you for help
I’m only making it worse.
Here’s a candle.
Here’s some incense.
I’m leaving now.
Peace be with you all.
This is a free form poem, in that it is almost exactly the inner monologue I had trying to pray to God on the top of a Buddhist mountain, and getting thoroughly awkward with myself.