Day 5:  Fake Jade Buddha (Parody of “Plastic Jesus”)

I don’t care if it’s Swiss or Gouda
Long as I got my fake jade Buddha
Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car!
Comes on pedestals of plastic
Lights up LED fantastic
Keeps me balanced while I travel far!

 

Oh I don’t care if it’s cracked and broken
Long as I got my Taoist token
Hangin’ from the mirror in my car!
A deity or a mighty dragon
Danglin’ in my station wagon
Keeps me balanced while I travel far!

 

You’d be happier if you’d a-
Go and buy a fake jade Buddha
Let his jolly person guide your way!
You know you might find Nirvana
Switching lanes when’er you wanna
Just save transcendence for another day!

 

 

Day 6: Finding Peace

Past the Subjugating Demons Rock,
And the Heart Washing Pool,
Above the Celestial Cave Palace,
Below the Ladder to Heaven,
East of the Mountain Shadow Pavilion,
West of the Horse Race Ground,
Near the Five Heavenly Caves,
You will find Nirvana –
A place where no one is trying to sell you a slide whistle.