Take off the hobo yoga pants.
Put on the nice yoga pants,
The ones that create the right shape.
Take off the ten year old t-shirt.
Slip into newer non-gym friendly gym t-shirt.
The one that no girl with rolls
Could run,
Or salute the sun in.
Pull back the hair.
Brush the teeth.
Drink a glass of wine.
Brush the teeth again.
Walk the perimeter, arrange newest magazines on top,
Old magazines go into tasteful pile behind the couch.
Check which panties you’re wearing.
Maybe not boyshorts again…
Apply lipstick – no lip gloss – no!
Tinted lip balm.
Smooth and not too obvious.
Make sure the correct alcohol is at the front of the cabinet.
Shove all empty plastic bags and sprouting onions to back of cabinet.
For the love of God, turn off NPR.
Or turn it back on; Judy Carmichael knows her jazz.
Walk a second perimeter, avoiding dogs, cats, and under the cabinets.
Wipe down refrigerator door.
Pour second glass of wine.
Tone down eyeliner.
Check phone.

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