Eulogy for Floyd


4.25 Eulogy for Floyd

Light the matchstick torches!
Bang the Hollow Cans!
For Floyd the King of Rats is dead
At the hands of the humans!

I’ll tell you my friends about dear Floyd
Who was smarter than a cat
And just as big in size
His coat was lustrous, thick, and grey
He had bright brown beady eyes
The glue traps never stopped him
Though they ripped out belly fur
He ate the cheese off snapping traps
He hissed at all the curs

Light the matchstick torches!
Huddle in the night!
For Floyd the greatest rat is dead
He put up such a fight

My fellow rats are sad this day
For Floyd finally succumbed
To the cruelest of temptations
To the smallest of the crumbs
While sniffing bones left in the sun
He met his tragic end
As with a snap the lights went out
In those beautiful brown eyes
And so was Floyd undone

Light the matchstick torches!
We’ll have a garbage wake
In honor of our leader Floyd
Who made one big mistake!


Yeah, our apartment building has rats. One rat in particular, sometimes seen but not caught until recently, stood out for me.

I stuffed a plastic bag into the hole in the wall – it disappeared.
I glued a bean can lid to the hole – it eventually got pushed off
I laid down a glue trap – it got pushed away from the hole
I laid down a snap trap with cheese – the cheese disappeared off the un-sprung trap
I cleverly put a large glue trap in his “bathroom” (my unused guest vanity drawer) – he pulled himself free, leaving behind a bunch of soft belly fur.

I mean, I have to give Floyd credit – he really played a good game. I caught four other rats before the guards finally caught Floyd. As big as a big cat, according to my neighbor…poor Floyd. You were a worthy, disgusting opponent.


Internet Ghazal


A “Ghazal” is an antique style of poetry which started in India and moved on through the Middle East. It has strong ties to Sufism.

Anyway, someone actually challenged me to write a Ghazal after I wrote a sonnet, which I wrote in response to an “incorrectly” identified haiku, which was itself a parody of a song lyric.

I highly recommend taking a moment of your day to read through the Wikipedia article about the Ghazal. It’s one of those nice little  pieces that illustrate the rules that certain forms require. A ghazal was to focus themes of love, mysticism, unattainable emotion – it’s actually beautiful and incredibly challenging if done correctly.

I was just trying to show off for a stranger on the internet.

Internet Ghazal

A poet’s words unnoticed, lost in thread forever
Buried amid counter-comments instead forever

Stretch out the Internet’s letters round the world
And fill all tongues with dread forever

Muses of the internet, be kind and present
Keep my creativity well-fed forever

Run virtual fingers through Wikipedian pages
So as not to lose my poetic cred forever

I’ll reach for old forms long forgotten
Sub-continentally considered dead forever

Stare at the GreatGreyBeast’s challenge
Let words rush through my head forever

Stand under the coded skies of the virtual world
Where thoughts have all but fled forever

To write, and write, delete and write again
A set of tiny literate wings I’ll spread forever

And though my bones will someday rest interred
Serving as the worm’s bread forever

My soul through words will always reach beyond
My soul through words that will be said forever.


Well done!