Too far to truly worry

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4.6 Too far to Truly Worry

Checking in:
Are you ok?
I mean it,
Though I’m far away.

I’m trying to mean it, anyway.

It’s just
The fire is not here
I worry
Though I’m in the clear

It’s a bit too far to carry fear

Those angry faces:
They’ve gone home?
Just checking
Though I hate to phone

I trust that you’ve been left alone

Checking in:
That’s not you, right?
Facing outward
Towards the night?

I prefer to keep the topics light

Ok, we’re good?
You’re not yet dead?
Sweet, I’ll
Just head off to bed

Maybe check online instead

***

I have friends who are stationed in dangerous places – far more dangerous than where I’m at right now. Still, when I check in with them on Facebook and they’re so calm about it, I find it really difficult to maintain my sense of worry. It’s more a dutiful worry than an authentic feeling…

Test Results II

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Test Results II

Poetry is such sweet distraction.
But warriors do not dawdle.
Onward, valiant, to the news!

Click.

Now, here is an interesting emotion.
False bravado mixed with melodrama.
Despair flowing up to fill a wishing well
The size of my tear ducts.
Yet I am breathing.
Yet I am typing.
Yet I am working.
My dreams are not fulfilled.
And now they must wait till I am greyer,
Wiser, older, crabbier, deadlier.
There were always only two sides to this coin,
And one was going to hurt.
So what to do with the spear in my side?
Small like a splinter, painful like a car crash.
Only two sides, and did I not promise myself
That I would remain intact no matter the toss?
So I sink instead of float.
So I trudge instead of skip.
So I…fall silent instead of sing.
Such an emotion to wrestle with – a hydra of indifference,
sadness, anger, and resolution to do better.

Raise fast the shield of distance!
Quickly now, step backwards and look forwards.
Forward, so far forward, as far forward as I dare.
Out to a horizon where things will be better.
Where I will make them better.

Let despair into your joints and you will never rise to fight.
And fighting is all you can do to right the course.
So up, up warrior!
Pull out that spear and raise your shield.
Don’t dawdle – the next toss fast approaches.
And you had best be ready.